I have a note on my wall that reads, "Thoughts become things." It's a simple yet profound reminder that my thoughts shape my reality. When my coach first introduced this concept to me, I was skeptical and frustrated. After all, I had invested heavily in coaching programs to build my business and was still struggling to find clients. It felt like a cruel joke. How could my thoughts be responsible for this lack of success?
Understanding the Concept of "Creating Your Reality"
Hearing that your thoughts create your reality can be triggering, especially when you're facing challenges like business failures or debt. Why would anyone choose negative outcomes? This isn't about blaming the victim but recognizing the power we have over many aspects of our lives.
There are events beyond our control, such as natural disasters or the death of a loved one. However, many aspects of our lives, like how we behave at networking events, how we run our businesses, and how we manage our finances, are within our control. These decisions are influenced by our thoughts and feelings, which ultimately shape our reality. Denying this power is giving it away.
The Cycle of Self-Sabotage
Step 1: Your Identity Influences Your Thoughts
A thought is just a thought until you think it repeatedly. Once you believe it to be true, it becomes part of your identity. For instance, as an introvert in a loud, chatty environment, I was labeled shy and believed it. This "shy" identity influenced my thoughts when I became a coach, creating doubts about my ability to attract clients.
Step 2: Your Thoughts Influence Your Emotions
The thoughts you entertain affect your feelings about taking certain actions. I knew I needed to network and speak publicly to get clients, but my thoughts of inadequacy generated fear and anxiety, repelling opportunities.
Step 3: Your Emotions Influence Your Actions
Entering a room full of doubt, I acted accordingly. Instead of engaging, I isolated myself, hoping someone would approach me, which rarely happened. When they did, my nervousness often sabotaged the interaction.
Step 4: Your Actions Determine Your Results
My actions matched those of someone who didn’t want clients, reinforcing my belief that I was too shy to succeed. This lack of results validated my negative identity.
Step 5: Your Results Reinforce Your Identity
The failure to attract clients reinforced my shy identity, creating a vicious cycle of self-sabotage.
Breaking the Cycle: Reprogramming Your Thoughts
To change your reality, start by reprogramming your thoughts. This process, often emphasized in coaching programs, involves several steps.
Step 1: Become Aware of Your Thoughts
Awareness is the first step. Studies show we have around 6200 thoughts daily, mostly automatic. Recording your thoughts for 48 hours can reveal negative patterns.
Take Action Now: Write down as many thoughts as you can for the next 48 hours. Then, review your notes to identify common themes and underlying beliefs.
Step 2: Challenge Your Thoughts and Explore New Possibilities
Your brain naturally defaults to negative thinking to protect you. Challenge these thoughts by asking, "What if this works?" and exploring possibilities.
Take Action Now: Review the negative thoughts from your notes and challenge their validity. Consider alternative possibilities and evidence to the contrary.
Step 3: Reprogram Your Thoughts
Rewrite negative thoughts into positive, believable affirmations. For example, change “I’m terrible at sales” to “I’m getting better at sales every day.” Repetition will help these new beliefs take root.
Take Action Now: Reframe each negative thought into a positive affirmation. Write them down, set reminders, and repeat them daily.
Your thoughts create your reality by influencing your emotions, actions, and results, which in turn reinforce your identity. To break the cycle of self-sabotage, choose empowering thoughts that support your goals. With consistent practice, you'll transform your mindset and achieve the business and income goals you’ve always desired.
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